I think for the longest time I’ve believed ukuthi if it made me question my worth, then it wasn’t worth it. But with you, it feels different. I don’t think you fully understand how I feel.
Angazi bhuti ukuthi sengazama kangaki ukukuyeka, yonke indlela yokuzama ngiyisebenzisile, whether be it ukukhuluma nomunye umuntu, or just quietly trying to convince myself that I’m over you. Akusebenzanga. Inhliziyo yami ihlale ikhetha wena.
Amazwi akho onke uyawamela, nempatho yakho iyakukhulumela. Uma ngase ngikudedele, onjengawe angeke ngiphinde ngimthole.
You know sometimes there are times where I feel like I have no one, ebese ngivele ngicabange wena, and suddenly my eyes tear up because ini ngempela lento yethu🤣? Ngivele ngingazi noma ngithi ukhona noma ngithi awukho.
Teach me how to love you in your own language, not mine. Ngiyabheda mina Khethwayo🤣, kakhulu. Kodwa ngizimisele ukuzama.
And maybe our love beams from intimacy, not sexual intimacy, but the yearning between two strangers who fell in love at the same time. It echoes through our souls, constantly drawing one another.
The intimacy shared through reassurance after our constant misunderstandings, through mutual understanding, or maybe holding hands.
Avoiding telling each other that we love each other whilst knowing very well how we feel. You listening to each and every one of my complaints. How softly you place your hands on me, or how you used to apologize every time you kissed my forehead usangisaba🤣.
Noma indlela engisaba ngayo ukukubheka emehlweni uma ungibamba.
Maybe it also just exists in all types of intimacy.
Ngempela kodwa ngingaqala ngithini ukukuchazela lento esiphenduke isicelo kimi. Usungithintile kaningi, igazi uligijimisile kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kungishiya nonembeza.
Nginokukuzwa bhuti uka sekonakele nakuwe🤣, ngingazi noma ngijabule noma ngishawe amahloni. Ungithinta usaqhamuka mbhemu, ungakangithinti, angazi ke noma uyangizwa yini, but when we do touch ngizizwa ngenye indlela.
Ngifuna wena yazi.
Uthando lwethu ke lunomkhuba wokubuve lungibalekele ikakhulukazi uma sengiqala ukungabaza noma ukushawa amahloni. Kodwa kulokhu ngithe angikwazise ukuthi ngizizwa kanjani.
Kuzodlula futhi ngiyazi.